Disclosure: I received a free copy of this book to review. All opinions expressed in this post are my own. This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you click a link and purchase a book featured in this post.
As a parent raising young kids in today’s divided world and “never enough” culture, I have often said to myself that empathy and kindness are the most important things I hope to teach my kids. But I’ve also wondered if I’m doing enough to help my kids build empathy.
I’m so glad The Empathy Advantage: Coaching Children to be Kind, Respectful, and Successful by Lynne Azarchi came into my life. It’s a helpful guide that teaches adults how to teach empathy to kids. Packed with tips, strategies, online resources and fun activities, this book has increased my confidence in my ability to teach empathy to my kids. I know the payoff will last a lifetime.
The Empathy Advantage
Practicing empathy – the ability to “walk in someone else’s shoes” – can help kids and adults alike become more caring people who are more understanding of and sensitive to the feelings of others. Empathy strengthens kids social-emotional skills and leads to better relationships, closer friendships and stronger communities.
“Without empathy, we cannot understand diversity or people different from us. Without empathy our focus and our children’s focus are narrow. Children without empathy can grow up to be callous and fearful adults, what I call ‘bulls in a china shop.’ Without empathy, we only care about ourselves, to the exclusion of care and concern for others.”
Lynne Azarchi, The Empathy Advantage
Yes, some people are born with more empathy than others but the good news is that you can teach empathy. It can be increased at any level. So how do we teach our kids empathy?
In The Empathy Advantage, award-winning educator Lynne Azarchi coaches parents, caregivers and teachers to help their children and students develop social-emotional skills that will equip them to better navigate the world with self-compassion and empathetic concern. Full of actionable tips to help you teach empathy to kids, it provides guidance on building empathy in all stages from infant and toddler ages to elementary, middle and high school years. It emphasizes the importance of starting early, being good role models, spending quality face-to-face time together, and more.
Five Tips for Building Empathy in Kids
“You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.”
John Steinbeck
Here are five of my favorite tips for teaching empathy discussed in The Empathy Advantage:
- Engage in and model active listening. Active listening shows family members, friends and colleagues that you are valuing what they have to say. Giving someone your full attention and reacting with positive verbal and nonverbal cues sends a message that they are important to you and you care about what they have to say.
- Don’t overschedule kids. Too much structured time can lead to a decline in social-emotional skills. When kids have time to enjoy free play with other kids, they learn to listen and pick up on social cues. Playtime with parents is important too. Be intentional about interacting with your kids through face-to-face time to help them become more attentive and caring. Also, be sure to make time for nature, creative play and alone time to help encourage their imaginations.
- Read books together and discuss them. Books help parents, educators and caregivers sneak in empathy lessons without children realizing they’re learning. In The Empathy Advantage, Lynne shares some of her favorite empathy-inducing books and question prompts for discussing children’s books with kids.
- Use food as a way to teach multicultural empathy. As an adventurous multicultural family, trying different cuisines is one of our favorite ways to both explore our own heritage and learn about other cultures. Take your kids to restaurants that serve traditional foods from cultures that are different from your own. You can also build empathy in your own kitchen by trying and discussing recipes from around the world.
- Volunteer in your community. Look for ways to expose your children to people in need in your community. Visit a senior center, deliver Meals on Wheels or volunteer at a local charity. Research shows that discussions about “walking in the shoes” of someone in need are important empathy builders before or after community-service activities.
Want More Tips to Help You Teach Empathy?
You can learn more about these empathy-building tips and explore more strategies for building empathy in The Empathy Advantage.
“Teaching empathy is one of the greatest foundations and gifts you can bestow upon your child. Let’s change the world for the better – one child and one adult at a time. The Empathy Advantage is here to help you.”
Lynne Azarchi
About Lynne Azarchi
Lynne Azarchi is an award-winning educator and education/parenting writer. She is the director of Kidsbridge Tolerance Center, a nonprofit organization dedicated to fostering bully prevention, anti-bias, diversity appreciation, empathy, and empowered youth. Over her career, she has helped educate more than 30,000 students.
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